Earth will dissolve like snow
Hundreds
of thousands of people always on their knees always
praying ‘dear
god what can I do to be happy dear god I just want
to be happy
dear god help me to be happy’ and god says ‘can you
all shut up
for like a second?’ / me: brain like an animal caught in
a
trap, willing to gnaw off its own leg / you: heart like a door
to
door salesman, always selling something easily broken /
imagine
this: a cemetery & on every headstone a list of
things the person
didn’t want to say but said anyway, as a tribute
to their bravery:
1. ‘I guess I should probably go now.’ 2.
'I don’t want this I don’t
want this.’ 3. 'it doesn’t feel good
anymore.’ / my nerves forever
rearing like a startled horse,
pulse punching all the way through
my skin, it says: here,
here, here, here is the pain of dying one
second at a time. If there’d been a way to hold it all in, I would
have found it /
nevada, yellow curry, jazz music, corruption: a list
of things I didn’t expect to like / and now late in the trajectory of
human
existence, we run out of things to talk about, overturn rocks
to
find poetry in the dirt / 'what I’m really trying to say is,
I started to like the chaos so much, I decided to become
it.’
